haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
