ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
