no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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