Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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