Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
