i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
