smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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