is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
