I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
