you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
