Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
