She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
