I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
