She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
