giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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