i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
