big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
