Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
