Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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