I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
