i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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