Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
