'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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