why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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