I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
