I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
