sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
