Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
