I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
