before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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