yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
