Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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