I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
