I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
