See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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