Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
