Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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