dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
