Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
