she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
