Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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