Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
