Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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