just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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