i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
