thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
