He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
