Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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