Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I looked at my own cervix.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
