I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
