He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
