Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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