I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
