saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
